As I try to use my brain to figure out the best way to be efficient at work and with my studies, I spent a lot of time assigning time slots to the various activities I wanted to do throughout the day – Weight training, reading, doing consulting cases, socializing.
But despite the fact that I was scheduling things, I wasn’t actually doing things at the time slot that I assigned them to. Scheduling but not following the schedule? What is that other than a gigantic waste of time and brainpower?
I tried to analyze why I wasn’t doing the things during the times that I had scheduled them in. I came up with the following explanations :
- I have to get in the habit first. If I do this every day and especially when I execute a key habit everyday, that will open the doors to the habits I want to have and thus my productivity will become super-enhanced.
- My confidence needs a boost
- I am not skilled enough
- I am not concentrating at the right times.
A few days later, I realized that the explanations above were just pathetic excuses.
I was ignoring or avoiding the problem at the heart of it all:
MAKING MY DECISIONS AND GOING THROUGH WITH THEM
It starts with my desire to start and the sense of duty I have to fulfill the task at hand. As someone said, “If you’re not going to live your life, who else will?”
Until now,I seemingly did things in the following manner :
- I did as I was told by others. People, my parents would get pissed at me for not following the path that I was supposed to follow. Why would I want to argue with them?
- I wanted the approval of other people maybe because I was always told that I was not good enough. If nobody is going to give me a high five, if people don’t need me for the work I am putting into something, then why should I work?
- If people are going to do things for me and I don’t have any say in anything, then why should I even care?
- If I am doing someone else’s dirty work, and I am not getting close to my goal of making a difference in the world, then for what purpose am I doing this?
- I thought and planned from a difference rather than executed and clashed
What I have realized that at the heart of it all, I am the one who needs to act.
- I need to act knowing that it’s okay to dream and do the things that you need to fulfill that dream. It is a great thing to practice and safeguard your originality.
- I need to do things during the day that can cause me to say man, I got closer to my dream. It is okay to set time aside and figure things out. It is okay to fail because you shouldn’t be afraid to make decisions.
- I have the right to pursue the path of greatness, ignoring others around me. God would expect me to make unapologetic changes to bring myself forward
- You can enjoy the painful process. You don’t have to follow the social norm of complaining.
- Actions speak louder than words. Shut up and just do things.
- You have surpassed the thinking capacity of a mere human mortal. You don’t have to verbally share your thoughts with them anymore. People will always undervalue you.
Yeah so set the goal. But…FEEL THE GOAL IN YOUR HEART.
Don’t think about how FEEL the pure urge to want to NURTURE YOURSELF INTO A CHAMPION CIVILIZATION with the wisdom of the ages, the fitness of a mighty warrior, and the heart of a thousand heroes.
It feels as if I have opened my eyes towards another undiscovered layer of the Charge of Socrates “Know Thyself”. It is about figuring out what you truly want to do in your heart beyond the knowledge of your social standing, beyond the things you learn in school. It is knowing that you want to be a good person and that you go out there to help the sick & ill and you motivate those around you.
A lot of people are either hypocritical, there being a mismatch between what they say and what they do. There are also the types who are genuinely forgetful at the most human level. But will you accept this reality and be like the ones who say something but do something else or be like those who think it is okay to forget their general purpose in life?
I refuse to accept it. I believe I can become a being that can transcend those elements of human nature. My journey towards achieving this entity shall begin again.
When there is something that only a few people can do or something that has not been done before, my stance is that
I will allow myself to be filled with the heroic spirit rather than be discouraged or awed by others. It is choosing between being a champion and being a nobody or a follower or someone pathetic that all they can do is stare in awe or talk behind someone’s back.